So have we. So WordHustler sat down with a savvy (yet anonymous) literary agent who works at one of the top five agencies in Hollywood to ask the important, burning questions. No, not his name. If we told you that, he wouldn’t be anonymous, would he?

Our Literary Agent, or LA, as we’re calling him, represents some of the top writers and directors in the entertainment industry. Because of this, he’s the perfect person to talk to about hooking an agent, writing a great script, and tips for success. A warning: unlike many Hollywood players, this agent is brutally truthful. And sometimes the truth hurts.

So strap on your armor and let’s get going! Tinseltown destiny awaits!

WordHustler: Thanks for taking time out of your insanely busy schedule and agreeing to be interviewed. How did you get your start? What drew you towards being an agent?

Literary Agent: I started in the mailroom. The competition was slim. I just kinda hung around. Then before I knew it…I was hooked. Talent agencies are brimming with information. Power. And lots of talented writers and directors.

WH: What type/genre of screenplays attract you the most?

LA: I honestly love it all. But I especially like dramatic suspense. Think Edward Albee [Editor’s note: Pulitzer Prize winning playwright of such works as “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” and “The American Dream.”]

WH: What type of TV shows do you like to read/watch?

LA: I try not to watch too much TV. Television makes you stupid. I mean, there is some good stuff out there. For example, a hardy laugh in TV isn’t nearly as rewarding as even a smile in the cinematic experience. In TV, bad becomes good. Good becomes great. It truly is a vast wasteland.

WH: About how many unsolicited queries do you receive a month?

LA: A lot. We all know this isn’t the way to do it, right? It’s about relationships. With very few exceptions, you need to live in Los Angeles. [Editor’s note: Told you he was honest. Now start packing!]

WH: What catches your eye when you’re reading an unsolicited query or new script?



LA: I honestly don’t read them. There are too many quality referrals coming in to worry about some guy in Oklahoma City who claims he is the next so-and-so. I do enjoy reading the query letters. They are pretty ridiculous. Just remember, Hollywood hates outsiders…unless they can monetize them.

WH: What makes you stop reading a script immediately? How many pages do you give it?

LA: Let me tell you the three most important things for a writer to focus on when delivering a script to an agent. I was never told this and I’ve never seen it articulated anywhere. It’s my own thing. Here it is: title, page count, opening sequence. As a reader, these are the first three things I look at. If the title sucks- goodbye. If it’s an insane length, ie over 120 pages- good bye. Basically, I’ve already made up my mind when I’m done with the opening sequence (aka page 30). At this point I know if the writer understands how to write in the Hollywood system, aka follow the rules. I could go on and on about this, it’s so important.

WH: What is your agency’s policy on unsolicited material? Can you explain to our readers why big agencies don’t like to be liable for unsolicited works?

LA: It’s referral only. I think each of the Top Ten agencies are. This is an industry that was built on hiring your golf buddies to do the rewrite job and hiring your drinking pal to be your producing partner. Not only is this a filtering process that I believe is necessary, there are obviously legal reasons why an agency can’t accept queries and cold calls. Also, there’s just so much more to selling a screenplay than what is on the page.

WH: What, in your opinion, is the best way for an undiscovered writer to get noticed?

LA: Learn the trade, not the tricks. Quality writing floats to the top. Take the classes, read the books, work at an agency, learn the business, go to the film school, win the contest…do all that. But at the end of the day, the quality of the writing needs to be high and the people you meet, the agents, producers, managers, etc need to like you.

WH: What’s an example of a brilliant screenplay that was an on-screen dud?

LA: I think this happens more often than not. It’s hard to make a good movie. CHARLIE BARTLETT was a great script, not a great movie. What about BODY OF LIES? Just a God awful movie, right? But a pretty good script. What went wrong?

WH: What about a mediocre screenplay that turned out amazing on-screen?

LA: I think it’s a little more noticeable when someone takes a shitty script and elevates it (a la 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN or DISTURBIA). Great directors can do that. There’s got to be a lot of pressure on everyone to take a great screenplay and create a great film. Sometimes luck is just on your side and everyone shows up to work…like JUNO.

WH: What are five pieces of advice you’d give to aspiring screenwriters out there?

LA: 1.Writers write
2. Build relationships
3. Do it for the right reason

4. Have a point of view

5. Live in Los Angeles

WH: Thanks so much, mystery Literary Agent. Your advice has been valuable and, well, hard-core. Is there anything else you’d like to add?



LA: You’ve heard it all before: Roll the dice. Create your own luck. Network. Here’s a quote to send you on your way:

“Millions are to be grabbed out here and your only competition is idiots. Don’t let this get around.” – Herman Mankiewicz, screenwriter of CITIZEN KANE

That’s for sure. So take the advice of Mr. Mankiewicz- and our new friend, Literary Agent- and work on your craft. Take classes, send your scripts to meaningful competitions, apply for writing fellowships that could result in a prestigious, full-time gig. Remember, WordHustler is here to help you every step of the way.

Why not submit your screenplay or teleplay to next year’s Nickelodeon Writing Fellowship or the Disney-ABC Writing Fellowship? Both programs are very prestigious and practically guarantee you a job in Hollywood. So take what you’ve learned from this interview, take your ambition, and get to writing. You’ll make it…and WordHustler wants to help.

It’s no surprise that publishers are clamoring after the would-be VP, aka The Hockey Mom Lipstick Moose Hunting Caribou Barbie Sarah Palin (phew, that’s a lot of nicknames!). The New York Post reports that publishers aren’t the only ones after America’s new sweetheart- major talent agencies are pursuing her as well. According to the article: “CAA, ICM, William Morris, Paradigm and other agencies smell books, talk shows and commentary for Fox and CNN.”

And of course, there are the people who are after her solely to capitalize on her public floundering. One media company president suggested that Palin is so hot because she has “car-wreck appeal.” The real story is the buzz over how much she’ll get for her first book/memoir. I mean, Tina Fey got $6 million…does the real thing deserve more?

Read the whole article HERE.

Do you have, well, not quite car-wreck appeal but an otherwise notable memoir? Why not submit it to The Candice Fuhrman Literary Agency? You’ve got a story to tell and WordHustler wants to help you tell it. Who knows, maybe you’re the world’s next Memoirist Barbie (or Ken Doll)!

We’ve all sat at our computers, pulling out bits of hair with frustration and searching for those perfect words, that perfect phrase, maybe that one extra punctuation to push it over the edge. No, it’s not the last page of a novel or that opening sequence of a screenplay. It’s a query letter. And it can make or break you.

To aid you brilliant WordHustlers in your quest for the perfect query letter, we’ve enlisted the help of writer/producer/genius Brad Schreiber. Schreiber’s book on the history of the Los Angeles Coroner’s Office, Death in Paradise (Perseus), led to his creating the nonfiction series North Mission Road which ran for six seasons for Court TV. His national journalism credits include Daily Variety, Written By: The Journal of the Writers Guild of America and Huffington Post. His other books include a collection of theatrical disaster anecdotes, Stop the Show! (Perseus) and the humor how-to, What Are You Laughing At? (Michael Wiese). He is also Vice President of Storytech Literary Consulting.

WordHustler sat down with Schreiber to pick his brain. Here’s what we uncovered.

WordHustler: What, in your words, constitutes a query letter? What is the difference between a query letter and a cover letter?

Brad Schreiber: When you are invited to submit material to someone, a cover letter serves to give essential contact information about yourself and, perhaps, some brief information about your writing background and accomplishments. A query letter serves to describe not only you, but also the project you wish a person to evaluate. It should never be longer than one page and it serves to not only describe your project but to show a complete stranger, in that one page, your mastery of writing.

WH: What would you say is the most common mistake people make in their query letter?

BS: After ten years of running Storytech, I still see clients spending months and years on writing books, scripts, etc. but, surprisingly, dashing off query letters almost as an afterthought. If you come to understand that the query is your first contact with someone who can advance your writing career, then why wouldn’t you craft it very carefully, rewriting it until it shines?

Common mistakes? Misspelling the name of the person to whom you are writing (generally instant death). Poor grammar. Mundane opening (“I have written a book I hope you will…). Refusal to use 12 point type. More than one page. Talking in too general a way about the plot of your project. Bland language.

WH: In your opinion, is it safer to send a standard letter or is there ever a time where gimmicky letters (humorous, out of the box, etc) work?

BS: I would not use the word “standard” to describe a query letter, because it might encourage people to write it in a very typical way. Just think of the person reading hundreds of these letters. That person wants to be hooked by an opening paragraph and does not want to be confused as to the simple but colorful synopsis of your work. I tend to think that humorous, weird or wacky approaches to query letters are appropriate for humor books or those with an offbeat appeal. But the writer has to make a decision. What if the reader does not get your sense of humor in the query letter? Make a calculated judgment as to when and where you use humor in your query. A little goes a long way, if you succeed.

Also, try to avoid colored paper, fonts that look like they came from medieval England, food or other trinkets, little gold stars inserted in the envelope and other peculiarities that generally do not impress people. Let your fantastic writing style sway them.

WH: Can you give us a quick rundown of proper query format? Length, style, etc?

BS: Use block paragraphs, single-spaced, as you would for any business letter. One page. I am telling you, if you are a great writer, they might not mind a second page. But generally, those who read your query letter are going to think ill of you if you cannot conform to simple industry standards. Do you want to be disqualified before your work is even read?

WH: Which of your personal query letters has done the best for you?

BS: I have had agents respond to an emailed query letter within minutes of sending it, requesting submissions. But do your homework. Do not use email for an agent or publisher who only uses postal mail, and vice versa.

WH: Would you say it’s more effective to query a literary agent or a publisher? Should people starting out go after agents first or try to go straight to a publisher?

BS: Part of what I do at Storytech is to analyze the market for the work of my clients. Sometimes, the work is sufficient to generate the interest of a literary agent. If the book will probably not garner a sufficient advance for an agent, it is better to go directly to a publisher. But you better have an attorney if you get a contract directly from a publisher. Or a deep knowledge of publishing law.

WH: What’s your stance on the statement that you should have a finished novel before you query but don’t have to have a finished non-fiction book?

BS: The best way to infuriate a fiction agent is to interest him or her in a novel you have not finished. You will never be able to approach that agent again. Always have a finished manuscript for fiction. Always have a finished book proposal for nonfiction. If you have finished the manuscript for nonfiction as well, swell. And remember, you want a career. So either have another manuscript ready or at the very least, one that is being developed. Agents want to know the next project you have in mind.

WH: Let’s talk numbers: what is a good amount of queries to send out for a newly-finished project? What’s a good number of queries to keep in play, as it were?

BS: There is no hard and fast rule about it. However, it behooves you to send out a group of queries at the same time. Your worst problem should be having two agents requesting material at the same time. I have an agent but in the past, I would query New York agents first, as they are at the center of the publishing industry.

WH: Can you share a query letter success story with us?

BS: I know a writer-producer who wrote a one-page letter to the head of a film studio in Hollywood, discussing a film project. The studio head did not buy the script but was so impressed with the writing in the letter, she sent money to the organization the writer-producer headed.

WH: What are five tips you’d give aspiring writers out there?

BS: 1. Believe in yourself, no matter what anyone says.

2. Write regularly, if not every day. 

3. Follow up on submissions until you get a yes or a no.

4. Write in more than one form.

5. Enjoy the process of writing and do not concentrate on the end result of money, publication, fame. And when any success comes, savor it and share the news with those who care about you.

WH: Would a service like WordHustler have been helpful when you were starting out?

BS: Any writer starting out, unless he or she is utterly methodical and has a phenomenal database of contacts, will benefit from the services of WordHustler. And don’t tell me you know more people than they do.

Well, you heard it here first, Hustlers. Spend time on your query, making it the best possible representation of yourself. Maybe before you start composing your query, you’d like to check out our Query Letter Clinic? WordHustler wants to help you put your best foot forward each and every step of the way.

COMPLETE BRAD SCRHEIBER BIO:
In addition to his publishing and entertainment industry successes, Schreiber has received fellowships from the National Press Foundation in Washington DC and the Edward Albee Foundation. Brad has written for all media, taught all over North America and maintains a personal web site at www.brashcyber.com, which is also the home of the Mona Schreiber Prize for Humorous Fiction and Nonfiction, which he has administered since 2000. Schreiber is Vice President of Storytech Literary Consulting, founded in 1999 by story structure expert Christopher Vogler.

While Obama-mania sweeps the nation (Yes We Did!), a few talented screenwriters in LA are also celebrating since UCLA’s Samuel Goldwyn Writing Awards have been announced. This prestigious award includes a $15,000 First Place prize and celebrates up-and-coming screenwriters. According to Variety, this year’s winner is Austin Formato, for his screenplay “Self Help.”

The Goldwyn Award has been won in the past by visionaries like Francis Ford Coppola and Allison Anders. Who knows, maybe you’re next?

Read the whole article HERE.

Would you like to enter the Goldwyn Awards next year? Be sure to add it to your WordHustler WishList today so that you can be ready for next year’s May deadline. First a Goldwyn, then an Oscar!

UPDATE: Contest extended until the end of the day today (Monday, Nov 3). Enter your answers in the comments below and see if you can win some free WordHustler credit!

And now, a Halloween Quiz for our WordHustlers! If you’re still stumped re: your costume, why not dress as a famous author? Here are some famous authors below, each worthy of Halloween homage.

So here’s the trick: you have to guess who the authors are.

And here’s the treat: the first Hustler to correctly guess an author’s identity gets a $3 WordHustler credit! Put your guesses in the comments and I’ll reveal the answers tomorrow.

Ready? Set? Win!!! And have a safe and Happy Halloween, Hustlers!

COSTUME IDEAS FROM THE TEAM AT WORDHUSTER:

This guy:

This lady:

This author (as characterized on the Simpsons):

This fine woman:

Or, if you’re looking for a couple’s costume, why not these folks:

Okay, now play fair! First to answer correctly gets a $3 WordHustler credit! Fire away, Trick-or-Treaters!

In a bizarre story that would seem better suited for inside a tawdry novel, not because of one, author Tatiana Boncompagni, the first-time author of Gilding Lily (HarperCollins), has sued her sister for allegedly stealing her next novel, a book called The Hedge Fund Wives. The sister’s take? She thought they were a writing team.

Sounds like a case for a literary Judge Judy if I’ve ever heard one!

GalleyCat has the whole story HERE. Now if you’ll excuse me while I go password-protect my computer.

Do you have a future best-selling novel that your siblings will want to steal? Why not submit a query to The Stephanie Tade Agency? Tade specializes in romance and historical fiction. Hey, if she likes your work, maybe your days of being an unpublished author will also be history. Go WordHustler go!