So have we. So WordHustler sat down with a savvy (yet anonymous) literary agent who works at one of the top five agencies in Hollywood to ask the important, burning questions. No, not his name. If we told you that, he wouldn’t be anonymous, would he?

Our Literary Agent, or LA, as we’re calling him, represents some of the top writers and directors in the entertainment industry. Because of this, he’s the perfect person to talk to about hooking an agent, writing a great script, and tips for success. A warning: unlike many Hollywood players, this agent is brutally truthful. And sometimes the truth hurts.

So strap on your armor and let’s get going! Tinseltown destiny awaits!

WordHustler: Thanks for taking time out of your insanely busy schedule and agreeing to be interviewed. How did you get your start? What drew you towards being an agent?

Literary Agent: I started in the mailroom. The competition was slim. I just kinda hung around. Then before I knew it…I was hooked. Talent agencies are brimming with information. Power. And lots of talented writers and directors.

WH: What type/genre of screenplays attract you the most?

LA: I honestly love it all. But I especially like dramatic suspense. Think Edward Albee [Editor’s note: Pulitzer Prize winning playwright of such works as “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” and “The American Dream.”]

WH: What type of TV shows do you like to read/watch?

LA: I try not to watch too much TV. Television makes you stupid. I mean, there is some good stuff out there. For example, a hardy laugh in TV isn’t nearly as rewarding as even a smile in the cinematic experience. In TV, bad becomes good. Good becomes great. It truly is a vast wasteland.

WH: About how many unsolicited queries do you receive a month?

LA: A lot. We all know this isn’t the way to do it, right? It’s about relationships. With very few exceptions, you need to live in Los Angeles. [Editor’s note: Told you he was honest. Now start packing!]

WH: What catches your eye when you’re reading an unsolicited query or new script?



LA: I honestly don’t read them. There are too many quality referrals coming in to worry about some guy in Oklahoma City who claims he is the next so-and-so. I do enjoy reading the query letters. They are pretty ridiculous. Just remember, Hollywood hates outsiders…unless they can monetize them.

WH: What makes you stop reading a script immediately? How many pages do you give it?

LA: Let me tell you the three most important things for a writer to focus on when delivering a script to an agent. I was never told this and I’ve never seen it articulated anywhere. It’s my own thing. Here it is: title, page count, opening sequence. As a reader, these are the first three things I look at. If the title sucks- goodbye. If it’s an insane length, ie over 120 pages- good bye. Basically, I’ve already made up my mind when I’m done with the opening sequence (aka page 30). At this point I know if the writer understands how to write in the Hollywood system, aka follow the rules. I could go on and on about this, it’s so important.

WH: What is your agency’s policy on unsolicited material? Can you explain to our readers why big agencies don’t like to be liable for unsolicited works?

LA: It’s referral only. I think each of the Top Ten agencies are. This is an industry that was built on hiring your golf buddies to do the rewrite job and hiring your drinking pal to be your producing partner. Not only is this a filtering process that I believe is necessary, there are obviously legal reasons why an agency can’t accept queries and cold calls. Also, there’s just so much more to selling a screenplay than what is on the page.

WH: What, in your opinion, is the best way for an undiscovered writer to get noticed?

LA: Learn the trade, not the tricks. Quality writing floats to the top. Take the classes, read the books, work at an agency, learn the business, go to the film school, win the contest…do all that. But at the end of the day, the quality of the writing needs to be high and the people you meet, the agents, producers, managers, etc need to like you.

WH: What’s an example of a brilliant screenplay that was an on-screen dud?

LA: I think this happens more often than not. It’s hard to make a good movie. CHARLIE BARTLETT was a great script, not a great movie. What about BODY OF LIES? Just a God awful movie, right? But a pretty good script. What went wrong?

WH: What about a mediocre screenplay that turned out amazing on-screen?

LA: I think it’s a little more noticeable when someone takes a shitty script and elevates it (a la 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN or DISTURBIA). Great directors can do that. There’s got to be a lot of pressure on everyone to take a great screenplay and create a great film. Sometimes luck is just on your side and everyone shows up to work…like JUNO.

WH: What are five pieces of advice you’d give to aspiring screenwriters out there?

LA: 1.Writers write
2. Build relationships
3. Do it for the right reason

4. Have a point of view

5. Live in Los Angeles

WH: Thanks so much, mystery Literary Agent. Your advice has been valuable and, well, hard-core. Is there anything else you’d like to add?



LA: You’ve heard it all before: Roll the dice. Create your own luck. Network. Here’s a quote to send you on your way:

“Millions are to be grabbed out here and your only competition is idiots. Don’t let this get around.” – Herman Mankiewicz, screenwriter of CITIZEN KANE

That’s for sure. So take the advice of Mr. Mankiewicz- and our new friend, Literary Agent- and work on your craft. Take classes, send your scripts to meaningful competitions, apply for writing fellowships that could result in a prestigious, full-time gig. Remember, WordHustler is here to help you every step of the way.

Why not submit your screenplay or teleplay to next year’s Nickelodeon Writing Fellowship or the Disney-ABC Writing Fellowship? Both programs are very prestigious and practically guarantee you a job in Hollywood. So take what you’ve learned from this interview, take your ambition, and get to writing. You’ll make it…and WordHustler wants to help.

According to The Holy Taco, the top eight most annoying citizens inside any Starbucks start with the “Manager Who Refuses to Recognize the Words Small, Medium, and Large” and just gets a lot WORSE from there (Except for #4, of course).

To read the whole article, go to The Holy Taco HERE.

Do you want to write a book that is one day sold in Starbucks? Me too. Let’s send some query letters via WordHustler to some respected literary agents so we can take the first step towards some Grande Non-Fat publishing success.

When does a non-fiction memoir cross the line and become fiction? And vice versa? GalleyCat says David Sedaris’ doesn’t believe in the whole “Ficton/Non-Fiction” debate. “Count on Sedaris,” GalleyCat says, “to sidestep the whole thorny memoir-truth issue with humor.” What did the humorist say?

See full article on MediaBistro’s GalleyCat.

Do you have a memoir you’d like to get published? Well, WordHustler, why don’t you send a query letter to an agent and get started on your path to publishing success? I suggest trying Folio Literary Agency: smart, hip, and hopefully very interested in YOU!

What about the little guy? That’s the question both the music and publishing industry (and WordHustler, of course!) have started asking of late. Wired Magazine published an interesting article featuring David Byrne from The Talking Heads interviewing Radiohead’s Thom Yorke about the state of the music industry. GalleyCat couldn’t help but ask: “Are things as bad for new authors trying to land a book deal as Yorke says they are in the music business?”

See full article on MediaBistro’s Galleycat

Are you trying to land a publishing deal? Well, you need an agent first. Why don’t you query the kind folks at Curtis Brown, Ltd. Yes, it’s one of the best agencies in the world. Don’t you want to start at the top?