We all know writing can be tough. So every once in a while, you probably surf around the Interwebs, looking for funny sites to distract yourself from your cursor blinking on your blank Word doc. Maybe in one of those comedic searches you’ve even run into a much-loved site called Pets Who Want To Kill Themselves. Maybe you’ve chuckled at a huge black terrier stuffed into a squirrel costume, or a chihuahua dressed as a turkey. And maybe, just maybe, you laughed.

Well prepare to chuckle again- WordHustler turned the mastermind behind this hilarious site, writer Duncan Birmingham, loose on WordHustlerInk to interview his most challenging subject yet: himself. Birmingham is a successful screenwriter who managed to turn his popular blog into an even-more popular humor book published by Random House! How did he do it? What’s the secret? And, most importantly, how did they get those boxing gloves on that pit bull?

WordHustler Duncan: Duncan, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to us. Can you tell our readers how this book deal came about?

Real Duncan: Sure, Duncan. I spent three years slaving away on a novel nobody would publish. A year later I started a blog with photos of pets dressed in sombreros and R-rated captions and I got a book deal within the month.

WHD: Why pets?

RD: Mailer, DeLillo, Roth; they’ve all focused on the human condition in America. I thought it was time that a writer was brave enough to tackle the pet condition in a post 9/11 America.

WHD: Oh boy, is this really going to be that kind of interview? Seriously, what made you start this blog?

RD: I’d gotten a couple holidays cards with the family pet all dressed-up in antlers or a Santa’s hat and just looking like they wanted to bite someone’s face off. Those are the only holiday cards I keep on my fridge all year long. I found similar photos on the internet, came up with a title that made me laugh and started a tumblr site-which is very easy even for a Luddite like me-where I linked to the photos and did little captions. Pretty soon people were sending me their own pet photos.

WHD: What kind of pet do you have?

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Children’s book author Gloria Rothstein has the whimsy of a child and the tenacity of a professional, which is why she has experienced success in the world of children’s literature. Gloria has not only written fantastic children’s books and CURIOUS GEORGE animated cartoons, but she’s written books for aspiring children’s book authors. 

Is there anything this writer won‘t do? Slow down, it seems. WordHustler sat down with Gloria and her relentless enthusiasm to learn what makes a successful writer, how to take characters from real life, and the fact that slush pile dreams CAN come true! Just ask Gloria herself. Read on and be inspired!

WordHustler: You’re a writer of children’s books, books about children’s books, and even scripts for Curious George animated cartoons. What draws you to the world of writing for children?

Gloria Rothstein: I love happily ever afters. Probably the reason I’m hooked on picture books, fairy tales, and romantic comedies.  I’m drawn to the humor, silliness, and characters in kids’ books.  How could you not be intrigued by cows typing, a pigeon driving, or a pig accessorizing?  Picture books are written for the youngest readers, but must also appeal to the parents and grandparents reading them aloud.  Targeting such a wide audience is what makes these stories so much fun to write.

WH: How long have you been writing? Do you remember the first thing you ever wrote?

GR: I started in educational publishing, so I’ve been writing professionally for years.  I have published credits with Harper, Scholastic, Harcourt, Houghton Mifflin, Macmillan, Random House, Holt, Children’s Television Workshop, and others. One of my first projects was developing materials to go with a series of award-winning children’s novels. Not only did someone pay me to read piles of kids’ books, but they helped me appreciate the importance of targeting your audience. Through the years, I’ve written books, series, stories, scripts, and programs for readers of all ages. Somewhere along the way, I realized it was easy for me to think like a five-year-old and to tap into that sense of wonder a picture book author needs.

WH: How did you land the job writing for Curious George?  How different was writing television scripts for children vs. writing books for them?

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When embarking on the long, winding road to publishing success, it’s easy to feel intimidated. So most writers seek the help of a literary agent, someone who can be a guide, a cheerleader, and most of all, a champion.

Enter Zoe Fishman, literary agent and foreign rights director at Lowenstein-Yost Associates in New York. Zoe is everything you’d want your dream agent to be: smart, savvy (she’s got oodles of publishing, editing, and agenting experience), and best of all, she fights for her clients…in a nice way, of course.

 WordHustler sat down with Zoe to get the real deal on agenting, publishing, and the “next big thing” in the YA book world [hint: it’s not vampires but does involve the afterlife].

So sink your teeth into this juicy interview, and then get your work ready for some immortal success!

WordHustler: Zoe, how did you get your start in the publishing industry?

Zoe Fishman: I majored in English at Boston University, and then I took the 6-week magazine publishing course at NYU. My first job was the assistant to the Audio Publisher at Random House. I then moved to editorial assistant at what was Dell, which eventually became Bantam Dell. Then I wrote for a few websites. That was fun.

WH: Are you a writer?

ZF: I am a writer. I eventually came back to Simon & Schuster to work in foreign rights, which was a completely different thing for me but turned out to be really, really wonderful.

WH: And you do the foreign rights here at Lowenstein-Yost, right?

ZF: Yes. At Simon & Schuster I learned so much about business, selling and marketing. Of course, getting to meet people and travel around the world was great. I did that for about five years and got to the point where I missed the editorial a lot, so I thought I would try agenting. I’ve been at Lowenstein-Yost for almost four years.

WH: So missing editorial brought you back to agenting. Were you amassing writers and projects you were passionate about over the years of foreign rights? Did that also help lead you back?

ZF: You know, I have always been a voracious reader and have a lot of editor friends. I’d watch them when they were passionate about a book, and notice the difference between that and being stuck with something they didn’t really want to do.

So when I came in, YA had just started to explode and I love that. I love a good Young Adult novel…and I had some good contacts in that area. So I started with that, and then because I do the foreign rights, there’s not tremendous pressure on me to be a niche agent. If I love the book, I can represent it. And I don’t have a gigantic client list, which is okay. I like that better for both the writer and me.

WH: You represent both YA and adult authors. What draws you to YA? What about an adult book catches your eye?

ZF: I think it’s kind of the same thing: I’m drawn to excellent writing. I think for YA, there’s something about the perspective of a teenager when they’re so not sure of themselves and they have no idea who they really are, that’s compelling because you know all that is ahead of them. You’re rooting for them to truly be an individual.  What I love is when characters are written as ones who you really identify with and feel their struggles.

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Tempany Deckert is a successful children’s book author and an actor on both stage and screen. Originally from Australia, Tempany divides her time between the US and Australia, all while churning out dazzling books for youngsters (Yes, I just said youngsters). Her newest book, entitled “It’s Yr Life,” is being published by Random House. So what keeps this fountain of entertaining brilliance going? And how did she get where she is today?

WordHustler interviewed the talented Ms. Deckert about her road to publishing success, her thoughts on the children’s book market, and…getting a pug dog to fart on command? Ah, the zany life of a children’s author.

WordHustler: Thanks for talking to us, Tempany. First of all, how did you get into writing children’s books? What’s your writing background?

Tempany Deckert: I was fortunate enough at eleven years of age to be asked into a special kids writing group in Australia that got to meet professional authors. We were able to visit their writing studios and enquire about how they wrote. That had me totally inspired to become a writer, but I segued off to being an actress.

After years of professional acting, I took a playwrighting course just for fun, which stirred up my writing juices again. I entered a young playwrights competition and got into the finals. After that, I started writing articles for youth magazines and began experimenting with writing screenplays.

My writing break actually came when I was working as an actress. I did voice-over work for a bunch of audio books for Scholastic, the children’s publisher. One day, one of the Scholastic people said he had read in the paper that I was one of the finalists for the Playwrighting Awards. He asked if I had any kids books I’d written because they were looking for a new girls’ series. I lied and said I did. Then I hurried home, wrote one and sent it to him! Within three months, I had an eight-book deal with Scholastic!

WH: What was your road to getting published like?

TD: Very naive, lucky and gutsy. I took risks, had no fear and just gave it a go. Getting a book published is extremely difficult and it is often a case of being in the right place at the right time. If I hadn’t had the opportunity to speak to the Scholastic representative, I would not be where I am today. It’s that age-old scenario of when you aren’t seeking something it comes to you and when you’re desperate for it, it totally alludes you.

WH: What age range do you like writing for the best?

TD: I mainly write for 8-13 year olds but have recently written for 14-16 and 5-8. I like all of the different age groups for different reasons. I think the eight to thirteen-year-olds are great cause you can influence them much more than the older kids. But, with the older kids you have less censorship in your topics, so that’s liberating as well.

WH: Do you illustrate your own books? If not, how does finding/collaborating with an illustrator work?

TD: I wish! No, I don’t illustrate my own books. Most of my books are novels that don’t have illustrations. But recently I wrote two series that had ink illustrations every six or seven pages as visual cues for reluctant readers. The publishers always choose your illustrator for you and don’t let you talk to them! They don’t want you slowing down business by sticking your nose in and being a pain. I had a tiny bit of say in the illustrations before they were published, but not as much as an author would like.

Often this is the biggest fallacy about writing kids’ books. People assume you team up with an illustrator and then send it in. It’s not in the best interest of the publisher to commit to a book that already has the illustrator attached. It ends up costing them more money!

WH: Interesting. So you find the kids’ book market is controlled by trends, like Hollywood or the adult book market? Are talking pandas all the rage one year then Dora the Explorer types another? Or are there characters and stories that will always sell?

TD: I think books are controlled by trends but, that said, it’s really important that you write the story you want to write because you may be creating the new trend. I remember writing my first book series [Editor’s Note: the series is called “The Shooting Stars”] about child actors/singers/dancers. Some publishers here in the States wouldn’t take it on (it had already been published in my home country of Australia) because they said books about “the industry” don’t sell. A year later, “Hannah Montana” came onto the scene and is currently the most successful kids’ TV show. Yep, it’s a show about “the industry.”

What publishers think is popular isn’t always the case but there’s not a lot you can do. They either go for it or they don’t. Sometimes books you’ve written might be more popular in five years’ time, so give it another shot once some time has passed. But be aware if someone tells you your project has already been published. If so, you are wasting your time. It doesn’t matter how good your book about a boy magician is, Harry Potter already has that place in kids’ literature!

WH: What are some of your own favorite children’s books from when you were a kid?

TD: I grew up on English authors. My favorite was Enid Blyton who wrote Noddy, The Famous Five, The Enchanted Forest. Lots of fantastical whimsical stuff. I also loved CS Lewis’ Narnia Chronicles, Judy Blume’s stuff and a great kids’ comic writer in Australia called Paul Jennings. I was an avid reader and read every book that I could get my hands on.

WH: What are some new/recent children’s books you like?

TD: This isn’t a new one but Freak the Mighty is pretty amazing. I don’t read a lot of kids books cause I don’t want to get influenced too much one way or the other. There is a great book out at the moment that is a picture book that’s all about a girl in Brooklyn growing up in an apartment. It uses the voice of an African-American girl’s dialect so poetically. I really love that book.

WH: Do you write for the parents (who will be reading the books over and over) as well as the kids?

TD: No. Not at all. My readers are older so their parents aren’t reading the books. And in fact, thinking about parents reading the book is a good way for me to decide if my work is good or not. If I think the parent will like it, I throw it in the trash! I’m writing for the kids!

WH: What are five tips you’d give aspiring children’s book writers?

TD: 1. Aim to write a great book. Don’t aim to get published. Too often people are caught up in the romantic idea of getting published rather than the real goal of writing a book for a child to read. Getting published is so very difficult that the chances of it happening are super small. If you write a great book that you can be proud of and that kids will love to read, that should be enough. Then hope that a good publisher also likes it and more kids get to read it.

2. Listen to criticism from literary agents and editors, they usually do know what they are doing. If they say it’s rubbish it probably is. If they say it’s been done before, it probably has. Before sending your book out, check that your idea hasn’t already been done. There are a LOT of children’s books out there.

3. Write and read a lot. The more you do both, the better you get.

4. Don’t be afraid to let a book go. If you’re not getting anywhere with it, shelve it and start a new one. It might have been a practice book. You won’t know it till later but trust me, you wrote it for a reason and it will help your future work.

5. Don’t talk about your book to other people. It will zap your writing when you’re at the computer.

Oh no, I have more than five!!! [Editor’s note: GOOD. The more the better!]

6. Don’t send an “idea” of a book to a publisher. Have it finished and ready to go. Publishers are busy people and don’t have time for “ideas.”

7. Get an agent. It’s the only legitimate way a publisher will read your stuff. Rarely do they ever read manuscripts unless they come from agents they like and trust. [Editor’s note: Why not get an agent by sending your work out through WordHustler today? You never know til’ you try!]

8. Don’t write only as a hobby. It’s too hard. You have to really want to write kids books to be successful at it!

9. NEVER GIVE UP!

WH: Now, on the other end of the spectrum, what are three things aspiring writers should avoid doing?

TD: 1. Writers should definitely avoid sending out a book to a publisher or agent before five people have read it and given GREAT feedback. You only get a few chances to approach agents and publishers and if the first thing they read is awful, they will never read anything of yours again.

2. Never send out manuscripts with spelling mistakes or bad formatting. You instantly look amateur and editors will throw the book away before getting through the first page. Have 1.5 spacing, in a basic font (usually Times or Courier) and make sure the grammar and spelling has been checked at least ten times before you show it to anyone. Don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s the editor’s job to check your spelling. If you’re billing yourself as a “writer,” you better know how to write!

3. Don’t avoid writing or sending out any of your writing because you don’t have an MFA. Gore Vidal doesn’t have an MFA. All published writers, whether they have degrees or not, have constantly written throughout their whole lives. Once a writer, always a writer. You learn how to write by continuously writing, not by being “told” how to do it. If you stop writing for any period of time, you will lose your voice. Never stop.

Great writers come in all different shapes and sizes. The difference between a successful writer and an unsuccessful one is the successfuls always write and put their work out in the world. The unsuccessfuls keep their stuff hidden away or never start it in the first place. Know that your first draft will be AWFUL and that is okay. It’s supposed to be. It’s all about persistence, persistence, persistence.

WH: Have you noticed any big differences between the Australian publishing world and American?

TD: Yes, both countries have very different opinions about the cover design!

WH: If you could choose one of your book characters to exist in the real world, which one would you pick and why?

TD: I once wrote a book about a pug dog that could fart and vomit on command. That would be useful in real life! [Editor’s note: I agree. Like a party trick gone very, very wrong.]

WH: I’m sure whenever people find out you write kid’s books, they’re always telling you their ideas for a children’s book. What’s the worst idea you’ve ever heard? Come on, you don’t have to tell us who suggested it.

TD: Everyone does have a kid’s book idea and what they don’t realize is that just because you’re writing for children doesn’t mean it’s easier. In fact, it’s harder. Different age groups read different words. There is a lot of censorship of subjects and topics for different age groups and each WORD is meticulously picked in a kids’ book. Most kids’ books take six months to write and edit. What a lot of people mean when they say they’ve written a kids’ book is they’ve come up with a good idea for a kids’ book. Writing takes talent and if you aren’t a talented writer, it doesn’t matter how great your idea is, you’ll need to get a writer to execute it.

WH: Lastly, and most self-promotingly (if that’s even a word), what are your thoughts about WordHustler? Would it have been helpful to you when you were starting out?

TD: Writers are good at writing; not marketing and business. WordHustler easily lays out the business side of life so you don’t waste half your day being a secretary. You’ve got WordHustler now so what are you waiting for? Go and get writing!!!

WH: We couldn’t have said it any better ourselves.

Do you have a children’s book to submit to the world just like Tempany does? Why not land a great literary agent first? Use WordHustler to query Wolf Literary Services or The Ashley Grayson Agency today? The sooner you do, the sooner you can inspire kids to become stars…just like Tempany.

The Washington Post has written a fantastic article about the plight of author Sherry Jones, a Montana journalist-turned-novelist whose novel, “The Jewel of Medina,” caused so much mayhem before it was even published that Random House decided to pull the book from the press. The historical fiction, centered around of one of Muhammed’s wives, was already inciting major drama between Muslims, Christians, intellectuals, publishers, even writers, so the publisher canceled it. Did they do the right thing or buckle under the pressure?

Read the whole article HERE.

Do you have a religious tale burning in your soul? Why not submit a query letter to Moody Publishers or an inspired short story to PanGaia Magazine? WordHustler wants to help answer your writing prayers. Hallelujah!

Peter Olsen, who New York magazine calls “the godfather of Random House,” is leaving his illustrious post after failing to turn the publishing empire into quite the behemoth he promised it would be. So what went wrong?

See full article on NewYorkMagazine.com:

http://nymag.com/news/intelligencer/46835/

Luckily for your WordHustlers, you can submit your work to the new regime at Random House. If you have a children’s or YA book, submit it through WordHustler to one of Random House’s many children’s/YA imprints, like Dutton’s Children’s Books, Razorbill, G.P. Putnam’s Sons Books for Young Readers, or Puffin Children’s Books.